Thursday, June 11, 2009

Letting Go

The question, "How do you know when to let go or take a hint?" was recently posed to me. Given the context of the conversation, it was pertaining to relationships, and with my history of relationships (none) I shall try to answer this.

There are a few things I see just in the phrasing of the question. First, how do you know when to let go. To me it would seem that you are past the point of thinking if you need to let go and are now looking for your off ramp. Most of the time time when we are not sure about whether or not we should stay with someone or something, or stick it out just a little longer, we ask if we've made the right decision in the first place. But once you get to the point where you are asking when you need to end something, it's usually an indicator that you know you either want out or need to get out and end it. What those reasons are could be justified and perfectly reasonable, whether it be infidelity in a relationship, can't meet contractual obligations, etc.

The second part, taking a hint, also points to the fact that hints have been seen but ignored. Hints are not given by accident, they are purposefully given as a way to communicate one thing without having to actually say or act on something at that very moment. Some hints are communicated quite clearly. For example, if your "garden hose" starts to rattle, let it go, it's not happy with you. If you are holding Sylvester and his ears suddenly go back and feels like Beelzebub is rising up, put kitty down and walk away. Those hints are clearly for the benefit of both parties. Snakes don't want to waste venom and risk losing fangs and cats are just lazy and don't really want to exert all that energy shredding your flesh. But there are hints that don't benefit both parties involved, and at times are motivated by selfishness by the one giving the hint.

If someone has to communicate through hints and not just clearly communicate what they are feeling, that's usually an indicator that they are looking for an easy way out and not make themselves look like the "bad guy". Neither of these questions, deciding when to let go or taking a hint, can really be answered until we know the answer to this - Why are you holding on in the first place and is it worth holding?

1 comment:

  1. I find my self feeling that same way and yes its time to see the truth and yes the truth really dose hurt i have no more tears left just a gut full of regret and disappointment and yes all this is done through faith that i will be ok that Im enough for me and for someone who will find me enough . Michael your light shines so bright and i hope one day you know how much your light has set my soul back on fire i pray one day i can be a light as you are to me.

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